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My life has to change, living like I do now just isn't going to do it for me in the end. There's so much more I want from his life, so much more I hope to be. It's time to put all my foolishness behind me, every wandering emotion, all my iridescent fantasies. I look around and there's so many other people doing so much more with the little time they have compared to what I do with the empty void I waste my time in. I can't kill myself slowly thinking about things I'm never gonna do. But I can use my time to make sure the things that can happen will happen. I'm not planning on giving up on fun completely because I see no point in that kinda life but I've gotta start taking "being serious" seriously. I may not be able to accomplish all I want to with these five months or so but if I start now at least I won't look back and cry. At least I can say, that for these five months or so I did all I could do. I want to be better now, not for anyone else anymore, but for me.

Please let me wake tomorrow with this feeling still in me, don't let it burn out again. So many times I have lit the flame within me, so many times I have been driven by burning desire, and so many times I lose myself to temptation. Somehow I have to find within me, the will to succeed.
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